Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
