Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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