During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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