Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
