Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize
