Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
tell me about the fingering
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