we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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