Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
