toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
