yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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