I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
