This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry my hands just texted you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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