O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
