just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
