We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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