i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
