how can u be prego again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
