i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
