"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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