Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
