I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Girls should come with a carfax report
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
