I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thus making me awesome and them whores
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
