Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
there is puke in my bra ... again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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