can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
