she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need water and some morals
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
