Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
