if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
