so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
