I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
