You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
