And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You ruined the universe
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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