If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
