i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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