He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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