we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
