I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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