I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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