gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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