i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
