I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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