I'm drive I can fine osifer
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
