I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
