I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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