So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
