I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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