I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
