just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
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