I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
