Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
