do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
