My liver just broke up with me...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
