i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
